Bushel of Dur

No wonder they're called a "crop of candidates" and a "field of contenders." Some of these guys belong in a cardboard box at a farmers' market.



On May 5, Stormin' Mormon Mitt Romney tried to bolster his street cred with the Pat Robertson crowd by criticizing France for instituting 7-year dissolving marriage contracts that do not exist outside of fellow Mormon Orson Scott Card's science fiction novels. On April 29th, Romney said (admitted? confessed?) his favorite novel is Battlefield Earth, by L. Ron Hubbard, founder of another great religion that believes in aliens.

Then, on May 7, Barack Obama said in a speech at a Richmond fundraiser, "In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died—an entire town destroyed," when in reality only 12 people died. Who's he been talking to, the Lancet?

I heard just yesterday that John Edwards gave his word to investigate the collapse of World Trade Center 7. At first, I thought, "what is his skull full of, Prell?" but after watching the video it looks to me like Edwards isn't aware of the crazy conspiracy theory he's promising to investigate, so I'll give him a pass. He's too busy paying his utility bills to be briefed on everything. However, the excited nutballs in the audience who applaud his answer and clearly do know the Trutherism behind the collapse of WTC7? They belong on the turnip truck. Climb aboard, people. Fill it up - bumper and all.

I'm not even going to say anything about woodland creature Dennis Kucinich.